Mind Games IV

In my life I never loved after I lost my husband, people around me complained about close to nothing. Derrick nor Ashley dared to get to know me personally, they were blinded by false affection. Neither of them knew I lost all I had in the blink of an eye, they wanted the image of what appeared to be me. That's all I was, an image. On June 11th of 2014, I lost more than my life I lost my sense of feeling. It was a sunny summer day, like any other. From go-cart rides, to carrousels and funnel cakes it was a beautiful day. Seeing the sparkle in his eyes, that smile that said you are my happiness, his laugh that said its only because of you its here. Warren made my life feel like maybe it is more to it than finding a career. Every Friday I'd have flowers on my desk, every Saturday morning he'd cook breakfast. That was Warren and I. We understood one another, he was the peanut butter to my jelly. On that day, after all the fun had just began. Getting into the car holding hands, singing along to love songs, that sparkle shined so hard. There was a car that ran a red light, and hit the car next to us. Praying Warren would make it, he died that day and to make it worse, no one was charged in his murder. That day I lost my husband and our unborn child. I lost all love for mankind that day, there couldn't haven't been a God, if so why didn't Warren or our unborn make it. People in todays society often think a scrape is painful until they experience an open wound. Checking social media for attention they wouldn't get if they were to see the person. Women working so hard to 'finesse' men of what they've worked hard for, men looking for women with a figure only surgery can accomplish. My society doesn't understand real pain, they don't understand true loss, hard work or basic anatomy. So people like Ashley and Derrick were easy to manipulate. Each of them wanted me to be there for support I told them both that it wasn't a good idea and I shouldn't be seen. Derrick pushed harder the day the divorced was finalized, that was the hand I fanned with. The guy I was seeing at Derricks law firm had news for him, he didn't make partner. As far as Ashley went she was stupid enough to settle for joint custody and since the house was paid for she was fine with little to no alimony. She had no idea of what hard work was and Derrick lacked maturity. I still hung out with them both, 20 days after the finalization Ashley had to be rushed to the hospital. (To be continued)